No temporary replacements, says league

Speaking of behalf of the Conejo Valley Soccer League, Ms. Paula Rossomando clarified that the competition rules do not allow for temporary replacement of players. In an e-mail addressed to the management of Lebowski FC on Friday, Ms. Rossomando wrote "There are NO temporary replacements. Once any of our leagues begin, to add someone to your roster, you will have to take someone off the roster for the remainder of the season."

This prohibition will add further pressure to the Lebowski FC squad in its campaign in the Fall Soccer League. Four green-and-yellow players are currently being treated by Dr. Dent, the team's proctologist: John (broken rib), Todd (sprained ankle), Boris (ripped groin) and Bart (sprained ass - believe it or not). Despite the seriousness of John's injury, its Todd's the one that may handicap the team the most, and it may require the longest recovery time.

Unfortunately these injuries came after a game in which the Vanecko Brothers were amongst the best players in the field. Todd, incidentally, is one of the team's leading strikers; as Brian, Todd scored three goals in Lebowski FC's two first games.