Steady As She Goes, 5 x 0

Playing steadily and on a cadenced pace, Lebowski FC reached its fourth victory in the Conejo Valley Soccer League when it beat Code Blue by the score of 5 x 0 on October 27th. The match, held at the West Pitch of the Borchard Community Center, was followed by throngs of green-and-yellow supporters. However, this fanatic crowd of Young Urban Achievers actually missed most of the goals, since most of them took place in the second half - when bedtime had already passed and a new episode of Yo Gabba Gabba was being broadcast on Nick Jr.

Without Ogo Egbuna, Adam Shaywitz (out of town in business trips) and Shane Williams (injured), Lebowski was also forced to cope with additional problems as a replacement for Todd Vanecko was not found in due time. Additionally, Cesar Libanati and Justin Tvetan were not able to make to the stadium in time due to other commitments. All these absences drove the Lebowski squad to adopt a more cautious formation than what would have been expected against the last team in the league - as Code Blue had lost all of its six previous games.

The use of a rather conservative approach against an opponent with limited technical skills - even if a motivated one - meant that the first ten minutes were lukewarm, without clear opportunities of goal. Realizing that, Lebowski upped the rhythm - it was playing unusually slow until then - and such a shift had immediate results. In quick succession, four good chances were almost converted by Brian Stone, Garo Sarkissian (twice) and Ricardo Dent. There was also a shot by Paul Klekotka that scared the young children watching the game and would have gone into orbit if it hadn't hit - an almost brought down - a large pine tree first.

Building on the momentum, it was Brian who opened the score, receiving a pass from Garo and completing to the net. And... that was all. The first twenty-five minutes ended at 1 x 0, and that was too little for Lebowski, as the team counted on winning by a wide margin so to improve its goal balance.

Lebowski entered the second half with a more offensive formation, and it paid off: some five minutes into it, Bart rolled to Sal, who advanced into the opponent side and dribbled two opponents. Garo called for the ball, received it and precisely put it into the net, scoring the second goal of the game.

Gaining confidence, the Lebowski players begun to pressure Code Blue on its own terrain - it was this way that Sal stole the ball from one of Code Blue defenders, rushed forward and shoot with his left foot to move the score to 3 x 0. After a rotation of positions, Justin - who until then was displaying his multiple talents in a game for the basketball league -, replaced Paul in the midfield, Brian moved to the back and Ricardo shifted to the right front. And it was Mr. Dent that would be the intellectual culprit for the fourth goal, when he attempted a long shot; a Code Blue defender saved it, but as she committed a penalty for doing so inside of the arch zone. The masses claimed unanimously for Garo to take it on behalf of the Achievers, and the Armenian Michel Platini calmly pushed the ball to goal: 4 x 0.

Code Blue had few chances of scoring in the second half; the most dangerous ones were two shots from long distance - one of them, rather luckily, hit the pole. Credits should be paid to Bart, who played very solidly in the defense, and to the overall disposition of the green-and-yellow team for playing collectively and passing the ball instead of rushing inordinately to the attack. Also, the Lebowski dudes have progressively gained more confidence in the last rounds, and certainly "going for it" when blocking the other team's players or fighting for the ball.

Near the end of the game Lebowski brought the score to a final 5 x 0 when Sal passed to Garo, who turned around and launched for Dan to complete to the net with a fast shot. Shortly later the final curtain came down and the Achievers marched to their favorite watering spot - Magoo's, at Wendy Driver - to celebrate the victory with pitchers of Newcastle, orders of buffalo wings and a much welcome buffalo wing pizza topped with blue cheese. Such a healthy and invigorating diet follows strict recommendations of the team's nutritionist.

New week Lebowski will face Blue Lightning - in a direct fight for the third place in the table. The game, which promises much excitement, will be played at 18h45 at the East Pitch of the Borchard Community Center. See you all there!

Ogo to miss game against Code Blue

Ogo Egbuna - the ebony tower of the Lebowski FC defense - will miss this Tuesday's game against Code Blue. The green-and-yellow squad will face these opponents at the West Pitch of the Borchard Community Park, with the kick-off scheduled for 18h45.

"Big Oga", as Mr. Egbuna is also known, has an out-of-town business commitment that day. As such, he will not be able to line up besides his fellow Achievers for the team's next match in the Conejo Valley Soccer League.

In an e-mail addressed to Lebowski FC management Ogo, a defender who also proved his worth as a goal scorer - as demonstrated in last week's game between Lebowski and Celtics -, regretted being unable to participate in the upcoming match, and sent his best vibes to his team mates.

Results, classification and statistics - round 6

Results - round 6 of 10 - October 20th:

RockStarz	3	x	3	F.S. United
Amgen Eagles	2	x	3	FS Blue Lightning
Mac Attack	6	x	2	Code Blue
Celtics	5	x	2	Lebowski FC

Classification - round 6 of 10:

	Team	P	W	T	L	GS	GC	GB
1	Celtics	18	6	0	0	52	15	+37
2	RockStarz	13	4	1	1	28	22	+6
3	FS Blue Lightning	10	3	1	2	25	34	-9
4	Amgen Eagles	9	3	0	3	25	13	+9
5	Lebowski FC	9	3	0	3	23	19	+4
6	FS United	7	2	1	3	27	15	+12
7	Mac Attack	4	1	1	4	21	37	-16
8	Code Blue	0	0	0	6	13	56	-43

Lebowski FC strikers - after 6 rounds:

Player	Goals
Garo	6
Brian	3
Todd	3
Adam	2
John	2
Ogo	2
Ricardo	2
Bart	1
Dan	1
Justin	1

Lebowski FC yellow cards - after 6 rounds:

Player	Cards
Cesar	1
Justin	1
Ogo	1
Shane	1

Team names

A few corrections, curiosities and oddities about the names of the teams playing the Conejo Valley League:

Celtics

The best team in the league has been renamed simply Celtics for the current season. CSC 76 Celtics is the name it used in the Spring league. but it has been shortened for the Fall championship. Unfortunately the league commissioners overlooked this change when the Fall schedule was published, and only last week the correct name of the team was made public. By the way CSC 76 stands for Conejo Soccer Club 1976 - a reference to the year of foundation. Listing a club's foundation year in its name is common to German and Scandinavian squads, and the Conejo dudes followed such practice.

FS Blue Lightning

As suspected by the Lebowski FC management, the proper name of this team is Blue Lightning, and not "Lighting". There was a typo in the documents released by the league administration.

FS stands for Four Seasons, as the team players are employees of that hotel.

F.S. United

As for Blue Lightning, the F.S. United name means Four Seasons United. Note that United uses periods in the abbreviation "F.S.", but Blue Lightning does not - and this is a most important piece of information.

Kölsch is fermenting...

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a lift-off! Our batch of Kölsch has been brewed, and is now undergoing primary fermentation at the secret chambers of the Tiemens Brouwerij in Newbury Park. The photo above depicts the gigantic fermentation vessel that holds such a most precious beverage at the Tiemens plant. In celebration of the end-of-season Lebowski barbecue, this enormous tank has been decorated with a gigantic, football field-size green-and-yellow jersey.

Kölsch is a type of beer originally brewed in the region of Cologne, Germany. It's a top-fermented ale that uses a specific, unique yeast strain, leading to a light, gently fruity, medium-hopped beer that is great any season. Kölschen are dry and subtly sweet beers. The recipe in question has been a bit tweaked by an experimental combination of grains, so let's check out together in a few weeks or so...

Dan Litts is a Little Lebowski Urban Achiever!

The Lebowski FC blog congratulates Dan Litts for his outstanding performance in the game of October 20th against Celtics for the Conejo Valley Soccer League.

Dan started the game playing as a defender but shone as an attacker. He made a precise pass that allowed Ogo to score Lebowski's first goal in the match - and shortly later annotated himself a goal when he smartly infiltrated the Celtics defense. Dan would have also scored another one with a most impressive header if the referee had not invalidated it for pointing to an attacking foul way off the play...

For all this and much more our dear esquire Mr. Litts is the Little Lebowski Urban Achiever of The Game! Thanks, Dan!

(Sorry, dude, but my PhotoShop skills are too basic and I couldn't delete the chicken poo from your forehead)

A loss that earned pats on the back

"We didn't lose the game - it was a moral victory." This statement by Lebowski player Cesar Libanati summed well the confront between his team and table leaders Celtics for the sixth round of the Conejo Valley Fall Championship. Although the mighty Celtics beat the green-and-yellow squad by 5 x 2, Cesar and his mates earned pats on their backs for putting an outstanding fight - and came just short of a draw at the end of the game.

Although it's clear that the Celtics are head and shoulders above the other teams - both in terms of playing skills as well as in tactical excellence -, Lebowski upped the fight and managed two important feats. First, it is the team that conceded the least number of goals to Celtics - and this may well make a difference for the final classification at the end of the season. Second, Lebowski is the only team to score more goals than Celtics in a half-game, as it "won" the second half by 2 x 1, thanks to goals by Ogo Egbuna and Dan Litts.

The night, however, started in stinky manner - quite literally. The Borchard Community Park administration decided to make the best possible benefit of the previous week's rains - which had been so strong that caused the postponement of the previous round of the league - and applied a very generous layer of manure to the fields. Needless to say, five days after this shitty job the stench of partially decomposed fecal matter was still hovering above the pitch, making the appeal of playing soccer at the BCP a little less palatable than usual. Complains by the payers and drones of supporters that converged to the stadia turned into screams of horror in the very first minute of the preliminary game, when a FS Blue Lightning play fell face-first onto the ground - burying his eyes, nose and mouth in one and a half inch plaster of chicken and cow doo-doo.

Besides the unsanitary conditions of the field, Lebowski was further handicapped by starting the game with no replacements, but to everybody's relief Cesar and Ogo arrived just a few minutes after the kick-off. Regardless of such problems, Lebowski initiated the game in great form. With a well-structured formation - with four men in a compact, planted defense that was also supported by midfielders Ricardo Dent and Paul Klekotka - the Achievers managed to completely neutralize Celtics for the first ten minutes of the match. In fact, so good was the performance of the green-and-yellow army that Celtic attackers voiced his astonishment declaring "I didn't know these guys played this well!"

With time, though, the greater technical skills of the Celtics players - who were red jerseys in the match to distinguish themselves from the Lebowski colors - begun to prevail. In a brilliant attack by the right, a Celtics player passed by no less than three Lebowski men and finished with a strong kick to open the score. Lebowski continued to hold well for a few more minutes, but then fell over its own desires to push to the attack, and opened the midfield. This fragilized the team's positioning, and the Celtics came to a second goal when five of its players overcame a Lebowski defending line made up by only two men (who fell lonely and unloved in that moment).

Lebowski recomposed the midfield and was able to even the playing field again, but the final eight minutes of the first match were very unfortunate to the Achievers - as the team conceded two goals in rather unlucky circumstances. First, Sal saved a goal as the ball was zooming to the net, but the rebound hit the back of Cesar's neck and was left over to a Celtics female player to touch it and score. A similar unfortunate moment happened shortly later - when an opportunistic Celtics attacker kicked another rebound to the goal; he missed the aim, but the ball deviated in a Lebowski defender and brought the score to 4 x 0. This ended the first half, and such a dilated score by no means indicated how tightly fought the game had been; Celtics' superiority was marginal, and not as widen as these numbers may seem.

The last twenty-five minutes begun as the first had, with Lebowski able to dice face-to-face with the leading team in the league. But just as real scoring opportunities for Lebowski begun to follow one another - with Adam Shaywitz close to scoring at least two goals - once again bad luck struck the Achievers, and in a very unfortunate moment by Ogo the Celtics were able to get a fifth goal.

In spite of such undeserved score, the warring spirit of the brave men in green-and-yellow armor never ceased to fight - and the results began to appear. Sal, with a long pass, launched Dan Litts on the left of the field. The ball was quickly passed to Ogo, who finished it to the net: 5 x 1. Minutes later Dan infiltrated the Celtics defense after a play initiated by Ricardo Dent and scored Lebowski's second goal in the game.

Mr. Litts, in fact, was in a wonderful night - and would have registered the team's third goal with a beautiful header if the referee had not invalidated it, calling a foul by Cesar well off the play. The Celtics seemed stunned with Lebowski's ante and stamina, and were lucky not to have suffered goals from the feet of Brian Stone and Paul at the end of the game.

When the referee called the match to a close the score indicated Celtics 5 x 2 Lebowski - and, despite such negative numbers, the Achievers had several reasons to be happy. They had faced the best team of the league eye-to-eye and put a valiant fight, despite being unable to count with four key players due to injury or sickness. They had been, quite probably, the toughest opponent Celtics encountered, and in long stretches of the match managed to get the upper hand on it. They demonstrated tactical evolution, particularly with the tightening of the midfield and its connection to the defense. And, most importantly, they showed fighting spirit and dedication - not relenting a minute, no matter how much behind they were in a scoring table that would have been fairer if it were tightener. It may sound strange to say "congratulations" after a defeat, but is a very fitting word after what the Lebowskis showed on last Tuesday's game. Lebowski FC is in an upswing, and many greater things may be expected from it at the last four rounds of the season.

PS: Cesar's remark to a "moral victory" was a pull-of-leg on Sal. The 1978 World Cup, played in Argentina, was own by the home team. Brazil finished the competition in third place but the team's coach, the late Cláudio Coutinho, called the Canaries the "moral champions". That was a hint both to a supposed technical superiority of the Brazilian team as well as to allegations that the Argentineans had bribed the Peruvian team in the semi-finals. The expression "moral champion" has entered the soccer lexicon since, being used sometimes in praising manner, sometimes in sarcastic ways...

League returns with a mighty challenge for Lebowski FC

After the cancellation of last week's round due to the poor weather in Southern California, the Conejo Valley Soccer League resumes its schedule with a major challenge for Lebowski FC. The green-and-yellow team will face tonight the mighty CSC 76 Celtics.

CSC 76 Celtics won the Summer Championship after losing only one in twelve games played, and leads the current Fall Championship with five victories in five rounds. It is certainly the most skilled and technical squad amongst the eight teams in the league, with a masterful play from defense to attack.

The game between Lebowski FC and CSC 76 Celtics start at 19h45 and will be played at the West Pitch. After three rounds facing the poorer conditions of East Pitch, the Urban Achievers will enjoy the better lighting of the West field - and this will bring some relief to a team that also faces complications within its roster.

Shane "The Mower" Williams, who broke the index finger of his right hand in the match against Amgen Eagles will not return to the squad for at least three more weeks, handicapping the Lebowski defense. The midfield will feel the absence of Garo Sarkissian - the team's leading striker, with five goals scored - due to business commitments out of town. Finally, the presences of Todd Vanecko and Boris Jankowski are still hanging in the air.

All this will place more pressure over the striped jerseys - but its valiant gladiators are confident of a noble display of shiny antics against tonight's most formidable opponents. The management of Lebowski FC invites its millions of supporters in the five continents to follow the team's fight against Celtics by tuning their TVs to ESPN, who dropped the Major League Baseball just to cover the game, with live transmission from the Borchard Community Center.